IS GOD FAIR TO EVERYONE?

can anyone please answer my question?
I am so piss off by the faci, the problem statement, the work, blablabla
I fcking hate myself
I hate studies
I hate going for advance maths class * it's so damn dry
I hate going for genetics class * "she" just don't know
I hate being kind
I hate being who i am
I hate they way i am
I hate people who are smart *actually i am envy
I hate people who are tall * actually i am just jealous
I hate people who act chio. *actually they are bitch
I put make up not because i am ugly. * i just want to be prettier
I am not cute * i am just short to u guys
I am not short * u guys are just too BIG SIZE for me
I am not pretty. * i am just better compared to others
I hate people for a reason * They deserve it, bitch!
I love people for many reasons. *They know me too well

All i am asking for is just a very lil simple thing. But my dreams just cant fullfilled no matter how hard i tried.
i wonder is it the effort is still not enough?
what else can i do??

Can anyone noe how i feel?
I doubt so.
I want a change in my life!
I don't want live in "no life" days.
ahhhhh.... i really dont not what to do
everyday i pray hard.
sincerely asking for something
putting in effort
for so long is haven been paid off..
why???

And... i don't know.
i just want to be slight better than others.. in everything..
is it too much?!!!